Amanda Patino: Blog Option #4

Identities are often viewed as the way we are perceived by the outside world. But how do we receive our identities? Are we born with a pre-conceived identity or are we able to create our own? In the novel Bastard Out of Carolina, written by Dorothy Allison, the main character Bone struggles to find her own voice and identity.

Although nowhere near the level of Bone’s story, I can relate to her in the way that I, myself am still trying to find my own voice and identity. Growing up with two brothers as the middle child could be at times hard, but overall an experience that has made me evolve. Throughout our younger years, my brothers and I were able to try our hands at various activities that interested us each. But the tides soon turned and as we all became older, it seemed as if I was getting compared to each one of my brothers for their achievements-even my younger brother!

Throughout my earlier school years I had been a student of the many teachers who had my older brother as a previous student and each year I would find myself being compared to him on what seemed to be a daily basis. Each teacher would have the same comments “ Oh wow, you’re Stephen’s younger sister! He was such a great and bright student! Hopefully you are too”! If you could picture the most annoyed face, then you would be visualizing the look on my face each year I had to endure statements like that.

As the years passed, my older brother Stephen proved to be very good at academics and a bright student dominating the education system. My younger brother JC began to show signs of being a talented artist and has developed his skills to the point of being in all AP art classes and praised by his art teachers and fellow classmates. And then there’s me- the middle child stuck in-between, trying to figure out my life.

Although I don’t have much figured out yet about what I want to be when I grow up or what I want to be known for, I do know that I want to be my own person. I know that I am a dreamer, a do-gooder, and an optimist. By trying new things and pushing myself beyond my comfort zone, I will be able to make the identity I want for myself.  As the great William Shakespeare once said, “we know what we are, but not what we may be”.